


Best Man

by planiforidjit



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Body Swap, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, Future Fic, M/M, no one is dead, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 19:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5140304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planiforidjit/pseuds/planiforidjit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek climbs in through Stiles window for some late night nookie and Stiles is not Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Man

Derek pushes up Stiles’ window and climbs inside. Stiles is asleep, of course, probably forgot that he had texted Derek. He does that all the time. But it’s fine. They had a long night following around witches on the preserve and Stiles kept grumbling about how they could be in a warm bed doing things that people do in warm beds. Derek promised he’d be in in the morning so they could catch up on those things.

The room smells off. Stiles is sleeping curled into a ball like a puppy and Derek knows that something is off. He smells it on him. He still shucks his jacket and kneels on the bed, leaning over and sticking his face in Stiles’ neck.

Stiles smiles and rubs his face on his pillow. “Mmm…Allison.”

Derek sits back. “Allison? What the fuck?”

Stiles blinks his eyes open and they go wide when they see Derek. He screams and throws a pillow at him.

“What are you doing, bro? What is going on? Were you just sniffing me? Are you kidding me?”

Derek’s heart is pounding against his chest. He can’t think straight. This is not his Stiles. Someone has replaced his Stiles, which means that someone else took his Stiles. His Stiles is gone. And he realizes that thinking of Stiles as a possession is not healthy, but he just gets this totally uncontrollable urge to bite Stiles and growl “mine, mine, mine” almost constantly. It is some sort of mixture between total disbelief that someone could want him as much as Stiles does and not want to kill him or his family and the whole werewolf thing.

Derek pins this Stiles to the bed with a hand around his throat. He smells off but familiar, but the anger is clouding his senses.

“Dude,” this not-Stiles says. “Dude. You’re hurting me.”

“What did you do with him? What did you do with Stiles?”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything with Stiles.”

“What the fuck did you do? Where is he? Where is my—.”

“Your?” Not-Stiles stops and his eyes go big, but not in an excited way, in a soft way.

“Who are you?” Derek growls. “What are you?”

“Um, well, you know me, bro.”

Derek sits back. “Scott?”

“What? What’s wrong with me? And why were you sniffing my neck? And why are you here? And why is Stiles your anything? What is he?”

“You should look in a mirror.”

Scott gets out of bed and goes over to the mirror on the back of the door. He squawks when he sees himself.

“Oh. Wow. What do we do? We should tell Stiles. Where is Stiles? What if my body is gone? Why are you in Stiles’ room?”

“I came in to talk to him.”

“At four in the morning?”

“He texted me.”

Before Derek can stop him, Scott dives for Stiles’ phone and opens it. He knows the password and that just pisses Derek off.

“I better wake up to your sweet ass,” Scott reads with a disgusting look on his face. “What the fuck? Are you dating my best friend? Oh my god are you having sex with my best friend? But—but you hate each other. Right?”

Derek groans and flops into the bed because he knows this bed. He sleeps in this bed. But it doesn’t smell like him and Stiles at the moment and that makes him angry.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Derek. That's—it’s awesome!”

Derek opens an eye. “What?”

Scott is beaming in a very non-Stiles way. Derek rarely sees Stiles smile when there isn’t some sort of sarcasm behind it and the only times he’s seen him with a soft dopey look on his face is when they’re in bed together.

“Derek you love Stiles.”

“I don’t love Stiles.”

“I can’t hear you lie because apparently I’m not a werewolf in this body, but I think you’re lying. You love him and we’re all going to be together forever. This is perfect.”

“We did not think you’d be so—.”

“Happy? And you talked about this together? You talk? Derek!”

“You don’t even like me.”

“Of course I like you. You’re just so grumpy. You guys must both be so awful together in the morning.”

“We’re fine in the morning.”

“You must be so grumpy.”

“Scott stop looking at me like that with his face. I’m so uncomfortable.”

“Did you come over here for sex?”

“No. We have a book club.”

“Oh—wait a second. This is why you guys like each other. You’re so sarcastic. I never get it.”

“I know.”

“So were you just going to come over and get into bed with me?”

“You don’t smell like Stiles so I stopped.”

“Wow. Thank god, bro.”

“Yeah.”

“Can I be both of your best mans at the wedding?”

“We’re not getting married. And anyway Boyd is my best man.”

“Wow. But you wanted to be my friend so badly.”

“I wanted you in my pack. For power.”

Scott smiles. “Derek. You idiot.”

“Yeah. I’m the idiot.”

Scott suddenly gets a very serious look on his face. “But if you hurt my best friend I will murder you.” He goes back to smiling. “Same goes for if I have to know anything about your sex life besides the fact you apparently crawl through the window to get it in.”

“I mean I’m not the one….” Derek trails off before he can finish and Scott looks horrified.

—

Stiles wakes up in Scott’s bed with what feels like a raging hangover. His head hurts so bad he can feel the blood pounding in it. Every thump makes him cringe. He stumbles to the bathroom as the fog starts to clear and the headache starts to dissipate and takes a leak into the toilet. He splashes water on his face and looks in the mirror, just hoping nobody drew a dick on his forehead when he passed out. Because he’s assuming there was drinking with people but he doesn’t really remember.

Stiles screams, except it’s not Stiles that’s screaming it’s Scott. Scott’s stupid crooked jaw is staring back at him from the mirror.

“Holy fuck,” he says when he finishes shouting. “Holy fuck. Oh shit. Shit shit shit. Mother fucker.”

“Scott? Are you okay?” Mrs. McCall’s voice is right outside the door.

“I’m fine, Melissa,” Stiles says and then cringes.

“Melissa?” The door bangs open and she stares at him. “Is this some new you trying to be an adult thing?”

“Uh, no—no, I was just—I don’t know. I was feeling weird?”

She gives him that look she gets when she knows that Stiles and Scott have got shit going down. “Okay.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re okay? I heard you scream.”

“Yeah. I’m fine. My head hurts.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Don’t you have wolf powers to take care of that?”

“Um, yes?” The headache disappears and hey! That’s not so bad. This could not be horrible. “Oh. Yeah. No I’m good. That was weird.”

She nods. “Yeah. Well, you better get ready for work.”

“Yeah,” Stiles says. “That’s what I’m totally doing.”

And really it works out because Deaton is the person to see anyway. It’s halfway out the door that he also realizes he should probably tell the guy he’s kind of secretly dating.

He’s goes back inside to find Scott’s phone and sees that there are thirty missed calls from himself and Derek and a lot of texts that say things like. “What the hell is going on, Stiles!?!?!?” And “wtf dude I’m in your bed?” And “bro are you secretly fucking Derek?” And “stiles I will never forgive you for making me get into bed with Scott. No more blow jobs!” And “oh god he gives you blow jobs!?!? My fucking mind needs to be bleached!”

—

“Derek doesn’t want me to be his best man at your wedding!” Scott as Stiles shouts as Stiles as Scott walks into the clinic.

Stiles blinks at them a few times. Then he looks at Deaton. “Before we talk about whatever the fuck it is that’s going on. How come I, and Scott, can get through the mountain ash barrier and literally no one else can?”

Deaton shrugs. “Trade secret.”

He smiles his Deaton smile and Derek has been telling Stiles since the beginning that something is up with that guy. He doesn’t not trust him but he also doesn’t trust him. He’s just waiting for something to turn.

“Also,” Stiles says. “Why wouldn’t you be my best man?”

“I’d be both.”

“We’re not getting married,” Derek says. “Especially if you look like that.”

Scott makes an indignant noise. “Hey!”

“Scott is adorable,” Stiles says. “But I get it. Too much like a weird uncle/nephew/cousin relationship and you already have a lot of that.”

“Can we fix this?” Derek asks Deaton.

“Looks like it’s just standard spell work,” Deaton says with a shrug. “One of the witches was just having fun. You’ll be back to normal in a few hours, I should think.”

“I’m still going to murder that witch,” Derek growls.

Stiles as Scott grabs his arm. “Oh shut up, sourwolf, when was the last time you actually killed something?”

“Peter.”

“And look how well that worked out.”

Derek yanks his hand out of Stiles’ grip. It’s too weird.

“So we just hang out until we switch back?” Scott asks.

“That’s about it,” says Deaton.

Stiles grins. “You guys should teach me how to do cool werewolf stuff! I want to run fast and break stuff!”

“And I can do cool human stuff!” Scott says.

“Like bleed out and wheeze!” Stiles shouts and they high five.

“Or we can just go play Call of Duty until it’s over?”

“Yeah that’s fine.”

“I kind of just want to eat a lot of junk food and feel sick.”

“Really?”

“Yeah dude I haven’t felt sick in forever unless I was dying.”

“Okay,” Stiles says to Derek. “You are in charge of pizza and Cheetos and beers? You can get drunk now, Scott.”

“It’s ten in the morning,” Derek says.

“Yeah, but who knows how long we have for this. So you do that. Deaton, my man, Scott will obviously need the day off to recover. And Derek if you’re good maybe there’ll be something in it for you later on.” He waggles Scotts eyebrows and Derek cringes. “Sorry! Scott you be sexy to him.”

“Ew. No, dude.”

“Fine. We’ll have to wait then. Come on, team. Break!”

Scott grins at Derek and follows Stiles out of the clinic. Derek had to let Scott hold open the mountain ash barrier for him and he still doesn’t get it.

—

Once Stiles is back to normal and he’s a little drunk and bloated from Scott downing so many beers he makes Derek drag him back to the loft and pulls him in to bed.

“It’s barely five,” Derek says, but he strips off his jeans and shirt and gets into bed in his tight black briefs that make Stiles’ legs go numb.

“Yeah, but Scotty got my body drunk.”

“You feeling okay besides that?”

“Peachy keen,” he says and kisses the end of Derek’s nose. “Why were you talking to Scott about best men?”

“Scott was talking about best men. I was talking about not that.”

Stiles nods. “Yeah. He’s always like waiting for people to be as in love as he is with everyone. Did that make sense?”

“Sure.”

“Because like we’re not even actually dating. Are we?”

“I thought we weren’t telling anyone.”

“Well stupid Scott knows so I guess everyone else can know too. We should probably wait until we’re dating out in the open to talk about best man choices. Why wouldn’t you pick Isaac?”

“Because Isaac will cry.”

“Shut up. So will you.”

Stiles kisses him and promptly falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey look! We're on Tumblr! http://bifuriousderek.tumblr.com/


End file.
